Jerry—-Yes you, you are a douchebag.
Yesterday was my boyfriend’s birthday. Him like an idiot decided to book a gig on his BIRTHDAY. So yesterday, instead of having a romantic dinner with ourselves, we drove out to a restaurant in Seven Fields and I got to watch him play and sing. Don’t get me wrong, I love watching and hearing him sing but not on his birthday!
The best part of my night thought was Jerry. Jerry seemed at first and interesting man that was sitting at the bar with some woman. I knew after staring for awhile (because I had nothing to do but people watch) that they were not married. They didn’t sit like they were comfortable with each other and she had a forced look on her face like she was trying to be nice, trying to get alone, and trying to just enjoy her evening. Married or people together for awhile do not fake happiness they would just leave. Or tell their significant other—-F off.
So there is our princess sitting with some man she hopes to be her prince, all the while I’m creeping on them hard and watching the best scene all night take place. She gets up to go to the bathroom and Jerry apparently looks over for the first time and sees little Christopher set up and ready to play. This is something he needs to find out about. Because he has to ask this question, apparently he just couldn’t deduct it on his own, so he walks over and says, in a high semi shrill voice,
“Are you really going to be playing? Right here at the bar?”
Christopher looks up at this man, with a semi astounded look on his face, “Yeah, I am.”
Jerry, “I am on a date here. I can’t just have you playing while I am trying to make conversation. You understand my issue with all this? Don’t you? I’m trying to hold a conversation and I just can’t have you playing right in front of us. And the game is on! How am I going to watch the game!”
Ah ha! This is the real issue it seemed. Not that he is on a date, not that he wanted to get to know his lady friend. Oh no…. He wanted to watch the game. What a loser. This to me was hilarious. I would have propositioned the guy, “What is it worth to you Jerry? Is it worth money out of your pocket? Because a $100 dollar bill would make me pack all my stuff up and be on my way fast.” But no Chris being the good man that he is just looked at him and goes, “Sorry man. Maybe you can just watch the game? Instead of listening to it.”
Jerry walks away in a huff. That could have been the end of it. I could have found something else to watch and laugh about. Maybe even watched a little bit of the game myself while listening to Chris. But no…oh goodness no it didn’t end there!
Remember that this all occurred while his lady friend was in the restroom. Jerry after leaving Chris walks up to some ladies on the other side of the bar and starts talking to them. I can hear it of course and if I couldn’t I would have probably moved. He starts FLIRTING with these ladies. Complaining that he is on a date, that there is music, and all kinds of gems like that.
Now in the meantime his date comes back, sees him talking to the other girls, sits down at the bar in their old seats and just waits. Hit the stopwatch…… and then hit it again about ten minutes later. That is HOW LONG SHE WAITED ALONE. Que the exit music because I would have been out of there. He was just chatting with the other girls having a good old time while she waited there patiently alone.
Jerry comes back and informs her that they were moving to the other side of the bar. She does without complaining. And they have what looks to have a nice rest of the evening. Ate some salad, drank some drinks, had some laughs it looks like.
But was that the end? No….Jerry you old dog had to come back for more. His date said goodbye and left. But this was not the end of Jerry’s night. He came BACK to the ladies he talked to before and proceeded to talk SHIT on his date to them. He was complaining because she wouldn’t drink that much. That she didn’t know much about wines. That she was fun but he was a young forty-two and wanted to go out and she wanted to get home early. Of course I had to watch all of this going on. It was just too much for me. It took all I had in me to not get up and say something to him and his ego.
That banter went on for some time then Jerry excused himself and said goodnight to his new lady friends. Good-bye Jerry and good riddance.
I find it funny that obviously this man was expecting far more out of a first date than he got. At least she realized what I and probably everyone at that restaurant saw. Jerry—-you are a douche bag. Save your idiotic chatter for someone less refined and proper. Go home rent a sleazy film and have fun with yourself. Because that is the only person you will ever be able to love fully.
